So today we went to a local coffee hang out. It's a great place where mommies (and daddies) can enjoy their coffees and the kids can play freely. L loves it there. Until today.
She was riding in a car when another kid comes up and starts bullying her. L held her ground. I was wary of this kid because this kid was having temper tantrums since she got there. Once I saw her pull L's hair, my "mama bear" instinct came alive. "Don't fucking touch my kid" was what I wanted to say to her but instead of making a scene, I asked the demon...I mean, the brat to release L's hair and shirt (when we got home, her shirt had a hole where the kid was pulling!). Her mother was around and watching but was less effective at communicating to her daughter that kind of behavior wasn't cool. Anyway, what did this brat do? She pushed over the car L was riding in to the ground. L calmly gets up and walks to the area where her jacket and shoes were. She proceeds to put them on by herself. Her head down the whole time. I finally reach her and ask if she is ok. She looks up, her eyes and cheeks are full of tears and leans in for a hug. I hug her and she cries hard but silently. My heart is bleeding for my child. I comfort her. While I want L to socialize freely, it shouldn't lead to bullying.
While I am comforting her, I realize I haven't comforted her in a long time. My focus was shifted to N. I have been so busy with N lately I haven't had any daughter-mommy time. How sad. I'm sad. And now my daughter is sad.
So, we head home. We had ice cream. We played dress-up. We put on mommy's jewellery and make-up. We kiss and made up. What a perfect afternoon we had.
What did I learn today?
- I need more L time
- L needs more mommy time
- I would never ask a parent to discipline their kids but maybe next time, I will tell the assclown and her mama to fuck off.
OMG, that's AWFUL! Poor Lainey! That breaks my heart that she got up on her own to get her shoes and go. It's so hard being a parent at times like that! I know this might be poo-pooed on, but if that had happened to Alex, I would have taken himover to the bully, leaned over her and said, "What you did wasn't nice. Hurting someone is NOT allowed. You need to apologize now." And yes, I would have gone to the mom and said, "Maybe you should keep a better eye on your kid and teach her some better manners." Actually, I have done that in the past to aggressive kids with moms who just do nothing but look away. Ticks me off. I make my kid apologize when he does something he shouldn't. Gah! Poor Lainey.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about that realization you haven't given your older child enough attention since the baby arrived. I have a hard time balancing it as well. It's difficult when the baby needs so much more attention. I find myself getting a little sad in the middle of the night when I find myself thinking over the day and what I did (or didn't do) with Alex, and I actually get out of bed, slip quietly into his room to tuck him under his blankets and give him a kiss amd watch him sleep for a bit. And I try to give him extra attention the next day. Cheer up -- you're a great mom.